Okay, so I’m a relative latecomer to this round of blog-tag, but as I’ve been poked by blue_knitter, it seems only righteous to enter into the spirit of things. (And hell, who doesn’t love writing about themselves?)

Some of the following many lead you to believe I’m as mad as an old cat woman, but I assure you, I’m just a classic English eccentric…

1: I went to a boys’ public school

Ardingly College took nine girls into its Shell year in 1983. There were so few of us, we bought our school uniform from Harrod’s and played hockey with the Junior School boys. In terror at the beginnings of modern co-education, the Headmaster placed our ‘study’ directly under his house – best way to keep an eye on us. We didn’t board, but we were there from 8:15 in the morning ‘til 9:45 at night – we were pioneers, hacking a contemporary path into one of the last bastions of classic English 'tradition'. Today, Ardingly is completely co-ed... seems like we did a good job!

2: I flunked Uni at the end of my second year

At the end of my first year, I was doing wonderfully… then I changed boyfriend (to this day I don’t know why) and discovered two things that were to be my undoing: dope and computer games. For anyone who remembers the original ZX Speccie ‘Bard’s Tale’ or the ultimate classic ‘Dungeon Master’, well, that’s where it all went wrong. By the end of my second year, I was living in a squat and a term behind on my coursework. I was very fortunate that said boyfriend’s mother was fond enough of me to slap me up the side of the head.

3: There is a man who genuinely believes I’m destined to bear the new King Arthur.

When I joined the Norwich Viking re-enactors, I had a brief affair with a man many years my senior. I say brief, because he believed he was the new Uther Pendragon – as well as being Merlin, a direct descendent of Thor, England’s senior Godi and the cause of the ’87 hurricane – and that I should bear his child to Save The World. When I refused, he later told me that the Gulf War was my fault (as it presaged Ragnarok) and so on…  Twenty years later, he still calls me. I don’t answer.

4: My fiancé vanished in a cliff climbing accident

With fabulous irony, my fiancé Bones (biker, hence the nickname) vanished at a Viking show in Tintagel in 1992. After the battle was over, a bunch of us went down to Rocky Valley for a few beers; Bones went climbing around the cliff-edge and was never seen again. To this day, we don’t actually know what happened to him. I rather like to think he found a willing mermaid and a cave full of Pirate brandy.

5: I used to do kiss-a-grams

Not much I can add to that really – I donned lingerie and giggled, wriggled and squiggled for retirement parties, office leaving dos and stag nights. Bit long in the tooth for it now, but I keep the chain mail bikini out of pure sentimentality.

6: I have two completed novels sitting on my USB drive

I used to write. I used to write like a mad thing. Two 250,000-word novels plus the beginning of a third, all part of the same sequence, still take up memory space in both microchip and grey matter. I hadn’t looked at them in aeons – until my PC crashed and I didn’t have them backed up. Losing ten years of your life is a cold and scary thing… when I got them back (relief!!) I blew the virtual dust off them and read them through. And, y’know? They’re actually pretty good!

7: My partner is one of my oldest friends

Devin and I met at the Battle of Hastings. No, not that Battle, I mean the re-enactment in 1990. For nine years, we flirted and fenced and danced round each other – until we sorted it out. This flat belonged to his previous girlfriend; he lived here with her for five years (I came down to visit them more than once). When she left for Australia, he moved back in and brought me too. Surreal? The word doesn’t begin to cover it!

8: Isaac was a star-struck baby

While still in the womb, Isaac had breakfast with Neil Gaiman, lunch with Clive Barker and tea with Andy Serkis. He was offered names (several of which I can’t repeat) by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I figure the celebs must’ve gone to his head – because at three, he’s already gunning for that Oscar!

Anyway, that's the line of skeletons clattering out of my closet. In turn, I'm going to tag lproven, dennyd, kegzilla and johnnybadd here on LJ - and John Rivers and Den Patrick on blogspot... go on, spill 'em boys!